Popularity: 8% [?]

Kelly Bensimon and her weird breast implants scheduled for Playboy

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In the wackiest entertainment news this week, Real Housewives of New York star Kelly Bensimon announced that she was going to be in December Playboy. Kelly is known for her wonky breast implants which seem to have a mind of their own as seen below.

I am Kelly Bensimon and I am so awesome

I am Kelly Bensimon and I am so awesome

This is what Kelly will be showing off in Playboy.

I'm at Sandals because I can't afford St Barts anymore

I'm at Sandals because I can't afford St Barts anymore

The reaction online has not been kind to say the least.

I don’t know what’s going on between the two pieces of her bikini, but it ain’t right. And I fear it is going to give me the bad dreams.

Meh face? Check.
Awful plastic tits? Check.
Thick waist? Check.
“Hips” same width as waist? Check.

I’m missing why this is such a travesty: this is what Playboy’s been crapping out since the ’90s. The only difference is that this one is lumpier than most of the others pre-Photoshop.

She has the torso of an grizzled old truck driver.

Ok I’m not a man, but are there guys out there who honestly want to see this messed-up body? The world must have spun off its axis if this shit is for real.

That is a man-abdomen if I’ve ever seen one. The muscular thick around the middle is about as unattractive as the fat thick around the middle.

No wonder Playboy is circling the drain.

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14 Comments

Comment by CK — September 24, 2009 at 7:44 am

I think her face looks nice in the top picture, but those are some of the ugliest boobs I have EVER seen. She should have spent the money on a tummy tuck instead.


Comment by Diego — September 24, 2009 at 8:05 am

I’m with the comments online. Playboy thinks that as men mature they want to look at this?! I don’t want to look at twenty year olds either, but this old hag is sick. She sadly looks like the mom at the subdivision pool who won’t admit that she’s gone to seed, but dilusionally still sees the 17 year-old iself n the mirror. BAD BAD Boob job—get your money back Kelly. The lipo didn’t work either and yes your tummy is as rocky and thick as your hips. Wear a ONE PIECE OLD LADY! and PLEASE don’t take your off your clothesunless the lights are off.


Comment by Brondie — September 24, 2009 at 10:29 am

She’s not very attractive.


Comment by matt — September 24, 2009 at 12:18 pm

square body, ugly fake boobs, looks like she has been been dragged thru life!


Comment by Alict — September 24, 2009 at 12:22 pm

It’s not even that the torso is square that’s so creepy, I think… if you really look, the top half of her torso is actually *bigger* because of a poorly executed tummy tuck… it inherently is unattractive because those aren’t natural human proportions.


Comment by mamallama — September 24, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Wow, that’s just a bad body all around. Looks like she is sucking her tummy in for all she’s worth in the bikini pic. And her legs look like they belong to a starving person. Playboy is gonna have to photoshop the heck out of her!


Comment by terry — September 24, 2009 at 10:21 pm

PLEASE lady do not pose nude.


Comment by eh — September 24, 2009 at 11:00 pm

I would love to see pics of the people commenting, ripping this beautiful woman apart.


Comment by dom — September 24, 2009 at 11:02 pm

Now you know why playboy is going bankrupt. Men do not want to see her lumpy body and hard breast.


Comment by Patrice — September 25, 2009 at 10:12 am

Ok, maybe I’m in the minority here, but I think Kelly looks great for her age. Botched plastic surgery and too much Botox? Sure, but that seems de-reguir for 40 something women in that industry. Did anyone see Courteney Cox in “Cougartown” this week? My point exactly. Yes the boobs are weird, but she IS in good shape nonetheless. I’d like to see what condition some of the housewives Kelly’s age who are blogging about this are in. They probably couldn’t hold a candle!


Comment by Ms. H — September 25, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Only the truly vain and clueless have hacked up bods like Kelly’s. Kelly does have a pretty face and I betcha she was the girl in 3rd grade who was taller than most and had long gangly legs. However, she was not meant to have boobage of any kind with her type of body. Whoever gave her those ghastly implants should have his or her license taken away. And Kelly, why don’t you tune up your IQ instead of tweaking your body?


Comment by Denny — September 26, 2009 at 5:29 am

This is what happens when you go to a veterinarian for plastic surgery.


Comment by Joan — September 26, 2009 at 5:46 am

She has a man’s shape. Was she a he and had a sex change?


Comment by Brooke — September 26, 2009 at 7:29 am

I’m with Joan– this is a man, right??? The veiny arms, the TOTAL lack of (natural) curves, the relatively skinny legs… I smell tranny. In the second picture he/she has an awful manly square jaw, too.




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